Five Years

It is the longest I have been with a company since I started my career in telecom in 1993.  The close second is my first company that started me down this path and that was four and a half years.  I remember interviewing for my current company, who has since merged, so it is not really the current company, but my phone number and desk have been the same.  I almost feel like I am having a little pity party for myself today.  The announcement was made in the team meeting this morning, I get the expected round of applause, and even some points to trade in for prizes, and not to mention a jump to vacation time from 3 to 4 weeks a year.  I am hugely grateful I have a job and Go has made it possible to support my family and myself.  I just can't help but ask myself, besides productivity and being a resource for questions, would my presence here really matter.

Did I make any kind of impact in the five years I have been sitting at this same desk with the same phone number.  I have contact with at least 30 to 40 people a week.  Do I make a different in their lives?  Has something I said impact them in any way?  Has the way I acted and responded to pressure (...and to stupid questions) brought glory to God and pointed them towards the kingdom?

Sure, I have had conversations with the Christian whose desk is across from mine, and I know people have overheard (you can't help but overhear).  But will people just remember me fondly if I were to move on or will there be a hole in the environment?  Will people miss the encouragement and uplifting words that are supposed to be spoken from my mouth instead of grumbling and complaining.  Will people know who to turn to when they are finding themselves short on options?  And it doesn't have to be me, but to the One who I should have been pointing to all along.

So I guess I can continue to feel sorry for myself, or I can do something about it.  I can chose to follow my emotions, or I can chose to follow Truth and the commandments of the One who has given me life.  So here I stand (or crawl...either way) and I state that my intentions are to move forward glorifying God in all that I do.

I know I will falter and fall and fail.  I will especially do poorly if I rely upon my strength.  How can I glorify God by doing things in my strength and with my know how.  What kind of glory would that be???  I mean seriously, it's like telling Payton Manning that I am going to glorify him by playing QB for him.  It's not anything anyone would want to see and I am sure Payton would politely thank me for the thought, but would rather by QB.  So I need to let God by God and I need to submit my like to His word, to His will, to His strength, and to His ways.  There may very well in lie the problems I have been having.  I have been trying to do what I think is right instead of submitting to His wisdoms and His ways for what He says is right.  After all, "there is a way that seems right to a man, but in the end leads to death (Proverbs 14.12 NIV)."